HuffPost Editor in Chief Steps Down Amid Career Struggles

Being named editor in chief at HuffPost was a career milestone for me, one that brought pride to my family and well-wishes from former colleagues.

The appointment was even recognized by The New York Times, highlighting my achievement on a national stage.

As I began this new chapter, I felt a sense of trepidation despite the excitement surrounding my promotion.

My concerns were not about the job itself or my ability to lead the team effectively, but rather a nagging feeling that something was amiss within myself.

The pandemic had just begun to recede in 2021, but its impact still lingered, and I would be taking on this role remotely, relying solely on digital interactions with my staff, leadership team, and superiors.

As a high-level executive at a media company, I had mastered the art of hiding my struggles behind a mask of success. My bipolar disorder, diagnosed in December 2005, was one factor that contributed to my difficulties.

To cope with these issues, I developed strict habits and routines that helped me manage my time effectively. Keeping a schedule was crucial for me, as it allowed me to avoid the pitfalls of what I called "time-blindness."

Writing down important dates and meetings also became a vital part of my daily routine. This habit not only ensured that I never forgot crucial appointments but also gave me a sense of control over my chaotic work environment.

However, despite these coping mechanisms, there were aspects of my job that still eluded me. Focusing on tasks for extended periods was a challenge, and I often found myself struggling to pay attention to details.

My aversion to tedious or repetitive tasks was another area where I struggled. Long documents or emails would leave me disengaged, as if my brain had tuned out the information being presented.

After a decade of non-stop work, I finally had some time off when our parent company announced layoffs in January 2025. In an attempt to protect my team, I walked away from my leadership role after four years at the helm.

The sudden absence of meetings and phone calls was initially a welcome relief, but it soon became apparent that my mind wasn't capable of handling the silence. Without the constant pressure to perform, my brain struggled to stay engaged, and I found myself feeling disconnected from the world around me.

I tried to fill the void with distractions, traveling, attending events, and socializing at parties. Being away from home provided a temporary escape from the stress and anxiety that had become my constant companions. However, this fleeting sense of relief only served to mask the underlying issues rather than addressing them.

My brain fog and executive dysfunction were nothing new; I'd grown accustomed to living with these symptoms over the years. I convinced myself that they were simply a result of being flawed, and that all I needed was to try harder to overcome them. But despite my best efforts, I couldn't muster the motivation to tackle tasks like writing cover letters for job applications.

I continued to put off seeking help from a medical professional, telling myself that I just needed to persevere through this difficult period. But deep down, I knew that something was seriously amiss, and it would take more than just sheer willpower to get me back on track.

Despite my outward appearance of success, I was struggling to complete a long-awaited project - writing sample chapters for my memoir that had been in the works for nearly three years. The task seemed insurmountable, and I couldn't shake off the feeling of being stuck.

My mental health issues, which had plagued me for years, were still unresolved. In fact, they seemed to be worsening. I was trapped in a cycle of sadness, unable to find a way out. It wasn't until I stumbled upon an old idea that I began to consider a new explanation for my symptoms.

A notion from my past resurfaced - could I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)? The possibility sent me into a tailspin as I recalled my history with bipolar disorder and the potential risks of treating ADHD with medications.

A follow-up appointment with my doctor in July led to a definitive diagnosis of ADHD, confirming what I had long suspected about my struggles with focus and productivity.

The prescribed medication was a low dose of Ritalin, which had an almost immediate effect on my mental clarity, allowing me to function at a more normal level for the first time in years.

Thanks to this new understanding of my condition, I've been able to manage my stress levels and avoid burnout, even as I take on multiple projects including writing, running my own consultancy, and relaunching my old news blog as a podcast.