What your teenage son is really seeing on social media, according to new survey


Kara Alaimo is a professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her ebook “Over the Influence: Why Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back” was revealed in 2024 by Alcove Press

If your adolescent son is on-line, he’s nearly definitely seeing content material that promotes masculinity and suggests troubling issues about ladies, according to research revealed on Wednesday.

Most boys — 73% — see content material about “digital masculinity” commonly, which incorporates posts about combating, constructing muscle mass and earning profits, according to a new Common Sense Media survey.

Boys with increased publicity to this type of content material have decrease vanity and are lonelier, according to the July survey of 1,000-plus boys ages 11 to 17 residing within the United States. These boys are additionally extra probably to cover their emotions and imagine they shouldn’t categorical feelings, reminiscent of by crying or exhibiting worry.

Interestingly, boys largely don’t go browsing in search of this content material, mentioned Michael Robb, lead writer of the examine and head of analysis at Common Sense Media, a San Francisco-based nonprofit group that helps dad and mom and lecturers instill important considering abilities in kids.

“A small handful said that they were actually looking for this,” Robb mentioned. “Sixty-eight percent said that the content just started showing up in their feeds without them searching for it.”

That’s most likely as a result of algorithms have discovered that adolescent boys are sometimes receptive to such posts, he mentioned.

Social networks may be pushing

Nearly all boys — 91% — see messages about physique picture or look, like dressing in a sure method and having clear pores and skin, according to the examine. Those with excessive publicity to such messages are greater than 4 instances as probably to say social media makes them assume they need to change their look.

And most boys — 69% — additionally commonly see content material selling gender roles in problematic methods, reminiscent of posts suggesting ladies desire to date a selected form of man or use their seems to obtain their targets, according to the survey.

The outcomes are particularly worrisome to me as a result of my research means that when adverse messages about girls and ladies are normalized on-line, it could trigger offline violence.

Boys’ social media use has been “fairly understudied” previously, Robb mentioned. “Here, we’re documenting how the algorithms that kids are a part of are specifically shaping their identity during this really crucial period of adolescence, which is a time of identity formation.”

Robb acknowledged the examine couldn’t show the teenagers’ social media use precipitated explicit results, nevertheless. He additionally mentioned the findings may have underestimated the extent to which boys have adopted masculine beliefs, as a result of those that maintain these views might not have been prepared to admit within the survey that they have been experiencing emotional struggles or feeling susceptible.

Thankfully, dad and mom may help their adolescent boys course of what they’re uncovered to on social media in wholesome methods and counteract the adverse results.

First, assume your youngsters can be uncovered to this type of content material, mentioned Melissa Greenberg, a medical psychologist at Princeton Psychotherapy Center who was not concerned within the examine. “Even if we monitor and limit what our kids see at home, they will be exposed to content we are not aware of in other settings, and through friends and peers,” she mentioned by way of e mail.

So, speak to your teenagers about it. You can begin by asking them what they’re seeing on-line. “One secret tip is that kids are actually quite excited to talk about their media use,” Robb mentioned.

If these conversations really feel uncomfortable, attempt having them within the automotive, mentioned Justine Carino, a Westchester, New York-based psychotherapist who treats younger folks and was not concerned within the examine. “Sitting side by side is less threatening than direct eye contact and being in a contained space helps teens feel safe opening up,” she advised NCS in an e mail.

Explain why we should always query what we see on social media, Greenberg mentioned.

“When we see things online, especially when we see the same messages again and again, or we see posts that get lots of likes, we may implicitly believe them,” she mentioned. “We may not even realize that this is happening.”

If a baby appears to have accepted a number of the troubling messages they’ve seen, don’t simply say they’re incorrect. “We may have knee jerk reactions to these problematic messages and may be tempted to shut them down immediately,” Greenberg mentioned. However, “this may backfire, as it may teach your child that you ‘don’t understand’ or that they can’t talk to you about their questions about these ideas.”

Instead, attempt acknowledging that social media content material will be very convincing, particularly when folks we like share it. Give them an instance of how this occurred to you, and query issues collectively by saying one thing like “ever since I was a kid, I’ve seen TV shows and movies where boys are shamed and made fun of when they cry or show emotion,” Greenberg mentioned. “But why should that be the case? Is it really true that emotions make us weak? Can we see this from any other perspectives?”

With a lot misinformation on social networks, these sorts of conversations can impart essential life abilities that adolescents want to allow them to figure out whether to believe other things they hear or see, reminiscent of purported information experiences.

Parents must also “stress how safe it is” for youths to come to them to speak about these items (or the rest) anytime, Carino mentioned. And imply it once you say it.

Cultivate robust function fashions and communities

One motive boys devour this type of social media content material is that “they’re actively seeking connection or inspiration or guidance, because these are things that are developmentally important to them at this stage,” Robb mentioned. “They’re kind of fundamental developmental needs.”

Parents may help youngsters meet these wants in wholesome methods offline.

The examine discovered that youngsters who had at the very least one individual they may go to offline for assist had higher psychological well being outcomes, Robb mentioned. He advised cultivating constructive function fashions for boys — reminiscent of dad and mom, relations, lecturers, coaches or scout leaders.

“Boys need to hear and see that men in their lives can express a wide range of emotions, and then there’s a lot of different ways to be a man, and not to be so rigid about how boys and men are supposed to act or emote,” he mentioned.

Also be certain boys are a part of bodily communities by taking part in issues like theater or sports activities, Robb mentioned. Be inventive. For instance, if a boy enjoys gaming, “that doesn’t have to be a solitary activity,” he mentioned. “There are local gaming clubs, esports teams or coding classes (and) robotics teams, all kinds of things that can combine interests with face-to-face interaction.”

Yes, this newest analysis suggests that the majority boys are seeing content material about masculinity, adverse concepts about gender and physique picture — and that those that devour extra of this content material seem to have worse psychological well being outcomes. However, dad and mom can use this chance to speak to youngsters, train them to query what they see on-line and guarantee they’ve robust function fashions and wholesome offline actions.

Social networks could also be pushing probably dangerous content material on teenagers, however we are able to push again with higher offline experiences.

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