Kara Alaimo is a professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her e-book “Over the Influence: Why Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back” was printed in 2024 by Alcove Press.
You may suppose you’re exhausted as a result of, like me, you’ve gotten too many issues in your plate. But there’s one other reason, in accordance with a brand new e-book.
Case in level: While I used to be scripting this piece, I responded to dozens of emails from colleagues and college students, received an enormous medical invoice, replied to a textual content a few house restore, and discovered that my older daughter must put on white to high school subsequent Monday whereas the youthful one is meant to put on the colours of fall.
This relentless barrage of interruptions and switching between ideas and technology platforms is leaving us totally exhausted, says Paul Leonardi, division chair and Duca Family Professor of Technology Management on the University of California, Santa Barbara.
He explains how this occurs in his new e-book, “Digital Exhaustion: Simple Rules for Reclaiming Your Life.”
I spoke to Leonardi about what’s making us all so drained and what we will do about it.
This dialog has been evenly edited and condensed for readability.
NCS: You say one reason we’re so exhausted is that we preserve switching between completely different apps and platforms. How does that make us exhausted?
Paul Leonardi: Every instrument we use requires some quantity of cognitive focus. We need to be taught the instrument we’re enmeshed in. When we swap, we’ve to disengage and reengage in one other space of focus, and we even have to modify how we’re using that instrument. Our brains don’t do an excellent job of switching that shortly. The foremost subject is that we haven’t developed to make the switches as shortly as we do immediately. It leaves us feeling exhausted.

NCS: You discovered that we regularly don’t notice we’re getting exhausted from all this digital switching. Why?
Leonardi: It comes again to the best way our our bodies have developed over time. We have good sensory suggestions to point out us once we’re bodily drained. Otherwise, we might collapse, and that’s harmful. So, our physique is aware of to ship indicators to our mind to say cease. But we didn’t evolve to sit down in an workplace in entrance of a pc, so our mind doesn’t know to inform itself it’s drained. We can simply preserve taxing ourselves, however that residue builds up over time. Then we really feel like we’ve been hit by a semitruck.
NCS: What can we do to handle that exhaustion?
Leonardi: Think about lowering the sorts of switches we make all through the day.
In the e-book I discuss three sorts of switches. Switching between modalities is switching throughout instruments. Think concerning the completely different videoconferencing platforms you utilize. You would possibly use Zoom after which swap to Microsoft Teams. They appear to be they’re roughly the identical. But how many occasions have you ever been in a gathering and thought, “I need to share my screen. How do I do that on this platform?” And these little modifications are sufficient to essentially put on us out once they accumulate over time.
The second kind is what I name switches between domains, and that’s once we’re engaged on one job, get interrupted after which swap to a special job. The unplugging after which re-plugging into the opposite job take fairly a little bit of effort. It’s an incredible tax that we pay.
The third kind is switching between completely different areas of life. How many occasions in your day are you getting a fast textual content out of your child’s college? Or the plumber calls to inform you they’re going to be late and desires to speak about the issue in your home. Those switches throughout actually huge domains are much more exhausting as a result of they pull us fully out of our thought course of in a single space, after which we’ve to get again.
NCS: You say social media is essentially the most exhausting kind of platform to make use of. Why?
Leonardi: I discuss three forces that exhaust us. One is consideration. On social media we’re continually switching between issues as a result of apps are pushing us completely different notifications. First any person appreciated one thing, after which there’s an advert.
The second drive of exhaustion is making inferences. We get a snippet of knowledge, and it’s not fairly sufficient to inform us the entire image. So, we’ve to fill within the blanks, and that takes effort. On social media we’re continually making inferences. We see any person is on a visit, and we’re like, they should have some huge cash. And they’re having the time of their life. We’re filling within the blanks.
The final is emotion. When our feelings get piqued, whether or not for good or for unhealthy, that’s additionally exhausting. On social media we do social comparisons, so we get jealous that any person else is doing one thing we want we have been doing. Or we get aggravated that we see a bunch of mates hanging out and we’re not a part of the group.
Social media is so exhausting as a result of it maximizes all three of those forces.

NCS: You say it’s particularly laborious for individuals who make money working from home to keep away from this sort of exhaustion. Why is that?
Leonardi: One of the large causes distant employees expertise exhaustion much more than individuals within the workplace — or it feels extra acute — is that it’s very tough to create separation between work and residential. They’re continually attempting to handle that boundary, and that’s so exhausting.
They are also extra depending on instruments for every thing, in order that they don’t get a break. If you’re within the workplace and you’ve got an in-person assembly, you don’t have to modify onto your Zoom platform. You truly get a break for just a little bit when you’re speaking to any person within the hallway. You don’t get that on these instruments.
You’re additionally managing your presence when you’re working from house. You want to ensure individuals know you’re accessible as a result of it issues for individuals’s notion of your work efficiency. So, you’re placing on a type of act that’s additionally exhausting.
NCS: You suggest turning off the video of ourselves in conferences. Why?
Leonardi: I believe it’s a good suggestion generally. We are likely to fixate on ourselves, and doing that creates a sense of self-consciousness. It additionally creates extra effort for us to handle our presentation to others.
Imagine in case you have been speaking to mates, or you’re in a gathering, and you’ve got a mirror in entrance of your face your complete time. You’re like, oh my gosh, how do I look proper now? There are luggage below my eyes, and I can’t imagine I made that silly facial features. We don’t do this in common life.
These further little actions accumulate to put on us out over time.

NCS: What’s your finest recommendation for folks who’re exhausted from maintaining with countless group chats about automobile swimming pools and soccer video games?
Leonardi: I by no means supposed to jot down about that in my e-book, nevertheless it got here up so usually within the interviews I did.
One technique I heard that was fairly efficient was calculating whether or not a automobile pool is definitely well worth the time you’re placing into coordinating it. If you add up on a regular basis you’re spending texting with different individuals, generally it provides as much as the identical period of time it might take to only drive your child your self.
Another technique individuals used was lowering these communications by attempting to coordinate in particular person. When they see one another on the soccer recreation, they’ve a protracted dialog concerning the plan for the following week. A number of of us discover they’re growing richer relationships as a result of that dialogue concerning the automobile pool is simply the entrée to a deeper dialog. Those are far more fulfilling relationships than the transactions going down by way of textual content.
Get impressed by a weekly roundup on residing nicely, made easy. Sign up for NCS’s Life, But Better newsletter for data and instruments designed to enhance your well-being.